New Chapter of Bliss

Here's a brief note of cooccuring new chapter: Moved to Dallas for a Contorller Office Manager Job, started new life with new car, new apartment, and most excitingly, a new relationship to treasure. Life can be unexpectedly beautiful when one let down of guards. It all happened really fast, within two weeks and 3 dates. Here's to an advanture of learning to walk His path together... https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B8oPxQrEwgufdl9hWmdyWG5oRVk/edit

New Mother-Daughter Milestone Achieved!

I've truly believed God placed many of tangible emotions into mother-daughter relationships.
It's been a rocky road from the beginning of my childhood that mom has unavoidable resentment of her mother-in-law relation seeing through me. God has reminded me to honor her of her hurt and to be with her just like He's also working His healing through me. This was the motivation of me moving back to Taiwan.

To be honest, I have questioned God many times how long this journey needed to be before seeing any fruits since this past year hasn't been much of a smooth ride learning to get along with my mom. Lately, the thought of possibly moving back to so cal made me opening myself up to her more and even started to share about work with her. God definitely works in mysterious ways!

I'm genuinely surprised last week during family outing that she came up wanting to take close up face-to-face picture with me! Her gesture definitely melted my heart and makes all the efforts of moving back spending time with her worth gold. God, I believe in your Complete healing in her! Salvation is finally coming to my household.

Phases to Remeber

My heart, you ought to remember this stage of singlehood
The butterflies-in-stomach phase of meeting new friends,
The excitment of discovery phase,
The disappointment of contineous waiting,
The eagerness to meet 'the one'
The sweet n tender things you hear,
The unspoken prayers of godly family I desire,
The unspoken conversations I wanted to share;

My heart you ought to turn these into spoken unconditional love for thee,
for my Savior has taught be to be patient to wait for thee,
teaching me to treasure tangilble unconditional love to share for a lifetime.

Loneness

Loneness, you have tugged away from the grave
Still but quiet voice you stir up my bottled soul
Eager to reinstate your not-so-noticeable importance
Away my soul drifted away from its bay
Left, right, left, right, my heart struggles with its tangled soul
Peddling away from where the head lays
Drenched eyes looking away
Dream is where my will stays

Stream Near Sight

Have been circling this desert for the longest time that I have almost forgotten how free-spirited I used to be!

Work had been disappointing due to personal prejustice from management so I called it quit back in April. Job searching has not been smooth that through interviews I have forgotten what I am cabable of.

I have been a big disappointment to mom that we have not spoken normally since I don't even know when! It's almost as if I'm none existence! She has tempted me to return back to States until tonight when she saw openings at shabu-shabu restaurant that she tried to convince me to do dish washing!
Why am I here if I am so unwelcomed?
I know I should not question this and I know I should pray more
Don't get me wrong that I'm always excited thanking and praising God fir any little improvement at this prison if mine, but I just wish miracles can happen sooner!

Anyway, I did finally sense stream about to spring out for me in my career direction!
Had a promising interview with a sticky note manufacturer this morning, and also gotten two calls from close friends referring me jobs way better than what I have been seeing!
Though choices! It would be so easy for me to opt for the job that is farthest to mom, better yet to have the choice of not even coming home on the weekends!
Alright, Almighty, I need your direction again!

Touchy, me like!

Been awhile since I went on a date!
Today after Rojohn engagement banquet, went out for a movie date. Maybe it was out of sympathy at first, and also wanting to be a sounding board for this friend's work related flames, I actually gave in to the excuse of "let's make a good use two expiring movie tickets!"

We watched "Thor", which is pretty good 3D action movie.
The entire time I could feel hi arm next to my arm and could hear hi breath!
While walking n waiting in line, he would hold my shoulders and grabbing my arm. I didn't resist as I was first a bit at shock, but surprisingly, I do enjoy these touchy physical interactions!
Good thing strong will wins at the end！
I did not give in to a hug or a kiss at the cheek!
I do however think my judgements do sway a bit now!

Lesson today would be, "ELISA, you are not exempt from being irrational! Be firm and observe subjectively!"

Giving In

Again the beast has won!
I caved in n gave up!
Wounded n hurt, deeper than I thought.

Away I must turn,
forcing myself to deal with it all:
cruelty of capitalism,
managing others or
being managed over others' expectations?
Self-interest or discipline shaped by characters?

Alas, putting an experation date to this responsibility,
I shall be free to choose
be free to be healed from past hurt
be daring to try and seek after my passion