2011年1月21日 星期五

Lord, Please Remember My Cry!

Last Sunday, I went on my usual trip to visit grandmom after church, but thus time I called mom insisting that she come. She then went home and insisted dad come along.

Grandmom got her wish! She had been complaining previously that she hasn't seen dad ever since grandpa's funeral. She was overjoyed! Haven't seen her laugh for awhile. She was so happythat she actually ate more and of course insisted we all to eat more than we could too!

Yes, this is the kind of image I had dreamed of and is the reason why I came back. Lord, I do believe you have started Your amazing work in my family. Just grand me the faith to see!

However, these couple days I have been arguing with mom because she went on her usual reasoning of not wanting me to switch jobs and the need to learn to appreciate, etc.
But, then she complained how I did not give her any money,說我很不懂事,不懂得感恩回餽。說我不如表姊表妹,連她們都懂得包紅包給外婆!
我何常不想多為家裡付出一點,我當然希望能有能力多做點啊!

so, I started to think maybe there's a reason God hasn't open the door for me to serve more. Maybe I just needed to find side jobs to aid my income.
Perhaps, I should pick up another tutor job or something.
God, 我不是沒能力的人,i refuse this label! 我不是為了逃避或混不下去而回來的!

please please, help me to have the patience and a strong heart to love unconditionally!

2011年1月13日 星期四

Boastful About Nothing

I really dislike people who are ignorant about how the world really is around them:

You stop learning when you started talking about any past success repeatedly
You lowered your position of power when an uninformative question is raised
You start making others offensive when an internal biased decision has been made prior to learning all the facts
Please never say "well, at least we gave it a shot and we have tried our best," when you have tried nothing at all.
Consistency means being persistent with trials and errors with cautions of aiming for perfections at each step!

There is really no superiority over any country
It may not always be a straight competition if there is dual beneficiary when teamwork is involved
Added value and respect only comes in when you start thinking for others before your own benefits

Humility is embrace others and learn from others through service
Benefits of keeping a partner outweighs identifying your enemies and clearing the road ahead of you

So, note to self, Please DO NOT place quick judgement over preference rather than on facts!

Re-quote this phrase from a friend today: 如果不懂,何不虛心受教?用謊言來粉飾自己的無知和不安,看了都替您辛苦!

2011年1月10日 星期一

Really?!

Yesterday, from different occasions, three friends came with extremely worry some voices asking:

"How are you actually adjusting to Taipei with your Americanized personality?"

"Have you been trying to date?"

"You are not getting any younger. Look at people around you. I know you want to have children of your own someday. You'd really work on finding yourself another half."

Yes, back in the States most of people around me are a few years older than me and are mostly all married and expecting or already have kids. Yes, it's true that most people I meet here in Taipei are a couple years younger than me.

But, I guess it never registered in my mind that I'm almost over the hill!
Well, not like there is anything I can do to change this situation.
I would love to settle with the right person soon too, but this is really out of my hands, friends.

For one though, I will push myself harder to try new things this year; to go out more, to meet more people from different places, to get out of my nut shell more.

I guess this blooming flower explains the stage friends describe me as 'hitting the hill' with its bloom. But who will be the one person that comes with flowers?

Only in His time~

2011年1月9日 星期日

Glad to have a Friend

Spent a lazy Saturday afternoon with PC bringing her to my hood, a orchid show in 社子花卉公園。
for two persons whom were down recently, enjoying gardening flowers is very relaxing.
I guess that is called 毫無目的的自由享受。

I'm just glad to have a sis around.
I feel lost about what I'm doing or why did I choose to come back.
I don't even know what is it that I wanted to do, but I only know one thing for certain: it's a constant assurance to know I have a friend to lean on no matter what!

Here's my selection of best orchid of the show for a obvious reason:

2010年12月19日 星期日

為這地呼求~

This two songs has been playing in my mind all day today. Maybe the Holy Spirit is reminding me to continue to pray for each place I go here on this land.
God, please give me the heart to reach out to my coworkers, my relatives, and my family for you have a greater plan in mind. Please do not let my little faith stumble the progress of Your work.

齊為此地呼求:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehc2R9a6kgQ

這是聖潔之地:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaWnRt1YpkA&NR=1

2010年12月15日 星期三

我心要得自由

我心要得自由 我要從這無形的陷阱裡得釋放

原來我只是個過客 完來你的關心是個空殼
我也不是永遠的傻瓜 請別把我當doormat

我需要徹底的覺醒 所以請不要再給我任何一絲空虛的希望
真正的好人是做對別人有益處的事

讓這一切需謊的想像空間隨著寒風吹走吧
你不再值得了 真的!

感動的新希望

昨晚 12/15/10 去參加Susan 的天使心歲末音樂會 '恩典之路'
把一個一般台灣外籍新娘嫁到台灣工人家庭的故事用音樂劇表演出來
裡頭不僅講到 台灣普遍對這些有特別需求的孩子的不知 沒支援的
講出傳統教育下的 要乖要聽話 為什麼你不能跟別人一樣等
家庭的破碎 無望因為 生活上的無助等

讓我回想到以前短宣時期 對這些弱勢家庭的感慨
但是現在的我 不但被自己屈現的比較多 比較被綁手綁腳的
我還是希望能有機會去幫助 去服事這些族群

另外我也不禁自問 萬一我以後有這樣的愛奇兒 我會有能力有勇氣去面對嗎?