My heart, you ought to remember this stage of singlehood
The butterflies-in-stomach phase of meeting new friends,
The excitment of discovery phase,
The disappointment of contineous waiting,
The eagerness to meet 'the one'
The sweet n tender things you hear,
The unspoken prayers of godly family I desire,
The unspoken conversations I wanted to share;
My heart you ought to turn these into spoken unconditional love for thee,
for my Savior has taught be to be patient to wait for thee,
teaching me to treasure tangilble unconditional love to share for a lifetime.
2011年11月1日 星期二
2011年8月30日 星期二
Loneness
Loneness, you have tugged away from the grave
Still but quiet voice you stir up my bottled soul
Eager to reinstate your not-so-noticeable importance
Away my soul drifted away from its bay
Left, right, left, right, my heart struggles with its tangled soul
Peddling away from where the head lays
Drenched eyes looking away
Dream is where my will stays
Still but quiet voice you stir up my bottled soul
Eager to reinstate your not-so-noticeable importance
Away my soul drifted away from its bay
Left, right, left, right, my heart struggles with its tangled soul
Peddling away from where the head lays
Drenched eyes looking away
Dream is where my will stays
2011年6月1日 星期三
Stream Near Sight
Have been circling this desert for the longest time that I have almost forgotten how free-spirited I used to be!
Work had been disappointing due to personal prejustice from management so I called it quit back in April. Job searching has not been smooth that through interviews I have forgotten what I am cabable of.
I have been a big disappointment to mom that we have not spoken normally since I don't even know when! It's almost as if I'm none existence! She has tempted me to return back to States until tonight when she saw openings at shabu-shabu restaurant that she tried to convince me to do dish washing!
Why am I here if I am so unwelcomed?
I know I should not question this and I know I should pray more
Don't get me wrong that I'm always excited thanking and praising God fir any little improvement at this prison if mine, but I just wish miracles can happen sooner!
Anyway, I did finally sense stream about to spring out for me in my career direction!
Had a promising interview with a sticky note manufacturer this morning, and also gotten two calls from close friends referring me jobs way better than what I have been seeing!
Though choices! It would be so easy for me to opt for the job that is farthest to mom, better yet to have the choice of not even coming home on the weekends!
Alright, Almighty, I need your direction again!
Work had been disappointing due to personal prejustice from management so I called it quit back in April. Job searching has not been smooth that through interviews I have forgotten what I am cabable of.
I have been a big disappointment to mom that we have not spoken normally since I don't even know when! It's almost as if I'm none existence! She has tempted me to return back to States until tonight when she saw openings at shabu-shabu restaurant that she tried to convince me to do dish washing!
Why am I here if I am so unwelcomed?
I know I should not question this and I know I should pray more
Don't get me wrong that I'm always excited thanking and praising God fir any little improvement at this prison if mine, but I just wish miracles can happen sooner!
Anyway, I did finally sense stream about to spring out for me in my career direction!
Had a promising interview with a sticky note manufacturer this morning, and also gotten two calls from close friends referring me jobs way better than what I have been seeing!
Though choices! It would be so easy for me to opt for the job that is farthest to mom, better yet to have the choice of not even coming home on the weekends!
Alright, Almighty, I need your direction again!
2011年4月30日 星期六
Touchy, me like!
Been awhile since I went on a date!
Today after Rojohn engagement banquet, went out for a movie date. Maybe it was out of sympathy at first, and also wanting to be a sounding board for this friend's work related flames, I actually gave in to the excuse of "let's make a good use two expiring movie tickets!"
We watched "Thor", which is pretty good 3D action movie.
The entire time I could feel hi arm next to my arm and could hear hi breath!
While walking n waiting in line, he would hold my shoulders and grabbing my arm. I didn't resist as I was first a bit at shock, but surprisingly, I do enjoy these touchy physical interactions!
Good thing strong will wins at the end！
I did not give in to a hug or a kiss at the cheek!
I do however think my judgements do sway a bit now!
Lesson today would be, "ELISA, you are not exempt from being irrational! Be firm and observe subjectively!"
Today after Rojohn engagement banquet, went out for a movie date. Maybe it was out of sympathy at first, and also wanting to be a sounding board for this friend's work related flames, I actually gave in to the excuse of "let's make a good use two expiring movie tickets!"
We watched "Thor", which is pretty good 3D action movie.
The entire time I could feel hi arm next to my arm and could hear hi breath!
While walking n waiting in line, he would hold my shoulders and grabbing my arm. I didn't resist as I was first a bit at shock, but surprisingly, I do enjoy these touchy physical interactions!
Good thing strong will wins at the end！
I did not give in to a hug or a kiss at the cheek!
I do however think my judgements do sway a bit now!
Lesson today would be, "ELISA, you are not exempt from being irrational! Be firm and observe subjectively!"
2011年3月22日 星期二
Giving In
Again the beast has won!
I caved in n gave up!
Wounded n hurt, deeper than I thought.
Away I must turn,
forcing myself to deal with it all:
cruelty of capitalism,
managing others or
being managed over others' expectations?
Self-interest or discipline shaped by characters?
Alas, putting an experation date to this responsibility,
I shall be free to choose
be free to be healed from past hurt
be daring to try and seek after my passion
I caved in n gave up!
Wounded n hurt, deeper than I thought.
Away I must turn,
forcing myself to deal with it all:
cruelty of capitalism,
managing others or
being managed over others' expectations?
Self-interest or discipline shaped by characters?
Alas, putting an experation date to this responsibility,
I shall be free to choose
be free to be healed from past hurt
be daring to try and seek after my passion
2011年3月15日 星期二
Unreasonable Expectations
Unreasonable expectations are like tsunami waves;
small waves tasks rubs the corners of eyesight
It also is like a food chain that
in order to move,
you gotta feed them to their needs.
Either giants or ants, all are made equal;
you are only given 180 degrees of eyesight!
Even the most even-tempered lions
will learn to roar for justice!
我的心阿
請你騷安勿燥 也別再煩悶
再無理的要求 都是忍耐度的考驗
There are always light at the end of tunnel~
small waves tasks rubs the corners of eyesight
It also is like a food chain that
in order to move,
you gotta feed them to their needs.
Either giants or ants, all are made equal;
you are only given 180 degrees of eyesight!
Even the most even-tempered lions
will learn to roar for justice!
我的心阿
請你騷安勿燥 也別再煩悶
再無理的要求 都是忍耐度的考驗
There are always light at the end of tunnel~
2011年3月8日 星期二
Miss Group Worship
2011年2月12日 星期六
Teach me to love
God, I'm really running out of patience: towards mom, in regards to my next job, or even relaiotionship!
God, guard my heart and teach me to be a postive influence in my own family. I reject all the negativity I'd anger and resentment whether from family or from myself. Hold my heart so I do not get influenced emotionally, and give me wisdom to turn each situation around. You know my tendency of hiding back, so please help me and give me what it takes to endure this.
My heart is weary again and I lost my sense of belongingness. Lord, you are all I've got now. You are the only companion I have.
Please show Your mercy to daughter of your own.
God, guard my heart and teach me to be a postive influence in my own family. I reject all the negativity I'd anger and resentment whether from family or from myself. Hold my heart so I do not get influenced emotionally, and give me wisdom to turn each situation around. You know my tendency of hiding back, so please help me and give me what it takes to endure this.
My heart is weary again and I lost my sense of belongingness. Lord, you are all I've got now. You are the only companion I have.
Please show Your mercy to daughter of your own.
2011年1月21日 星期五
Lord, Please Remember My Cry!
Last Sunday, I went on my usual trip to visit grandmom after church, but thus time I called mom insisting that she come. She then went home and insisted dad come along.
Grandmom got her wish! She had been complaining previously that she hasn't seen dad ever since grandpa's funeral. She was overjoyed! Haven't seen her laugh for awhile. She was so happythat she actually ate more and of course insisted we all to eat more than we could too!
Yes, this is the kind of image I had dreamed of and is the reason why I came back. Lord, I do believe you have started Your amazing work in my family. Just grand me the faith to see!
However, these couple days I have been arguing with mom because she went on her usual reasoning of not wanting me to switch jobs and the need to learn to appreciate, etc.
But, then she complained how I did not give her any money，說我很不懂事，不懂得感恩回餽。說我不如表姊表妹，連她們都懂得包紅包給外婆！
我何常不想多為家裡付出一點，我當然希望能有能力多做點啊！
so, I started to think maybe there's a reason God hasn't open the door for me to serve more. Maybe I just needed to find side jobs to aid my income.
Perhaps, I should pick up another tutor job or something.
God, 我不是沒能力的人，i refuse this label! 我不是為了逃避或混不下去而回來的！
please please, help me to have the patience and a strong heart to love unconditionally!
Grandmom got her wish! She had been complaining previously that she hasn't seen dad ever since grandpa's funeral. She was overjoyed! Haven't seen her laugh for awhile. She was so happythat she actually ate more and of course insisted we all to eat more than we could too!
Yes, this is the kind of image I had dreamed of and is the reason why I came back. Lord, I do believe you have started Your amazing work in my family. Just grand me the faith to see!
However, these couple days I have been arguing with mom because she went on her usual reasoning of not wanting me to switch jobs and the need to learn to appreciate, etc.
But, then she complained how I did not give her any money，說我很不懂事，不懂得感恩回餽。說我不如表姊表妹，連她們都懂得包紅包給外婆！
我何常不想多為家裡付出一點，我當然希望能有能力多做點啊！
so, I started to think maybe there's a reason God hasn't open the door for me to serve more. Maybe I just needed to find side jobs to aid my income.
Perhaps, I should pick up another tutor job or something.
God, 我不是沒能力的人，i refuse this label! 我不是為了逃避或混不下去而回來的！
please please, help me to have the patience and a strong heart to love unconditionally!
2011年1月13日 星期四
Boastful About Nothing
I really dislike people who are ignorant about how the world really is around them:
You stop learning when you started talking about any past success repeatedly
You lowered your position of power when an uninformative question is raised
You start making others offensive when an internal biased decision has been made prior to learning all the facts
Please never say "well, at least we gave it a shot and we have tried our best," when you have tried nothing at all.
Consistency means being persistent with trials and errors with cautions of aiming for perfections at each step!
There is really no superiority over any country
It may not always be a straight competition if there is dual beneficiary when teamwork is involved
Added value and respect only comes in when you start thinking for others before your own benefits
Humility is embrace others and learn from others through service
Benefits of keeping a partner outweighs identifying your enemies and clearing the road ahead of you
So, note to self, Please DO NOT place quick judgement over preference rather than on facts!
Re-quote this phrase from a friend today: 如果不懂，何不虛心受教？用謊言來粉飾自己的無知和不安，看了都替您辛苦!
You stop learning when you started talking about any past success repeatedly
You lowered your position of power when an uninformative question is raised
You start making others offensive when an internal biased decision has been made prior to learning all the facts
Please never say "well, at least we gave it a shot and we have tried our best," when you have tried nothing at all.
Consistency means being persistent with trials and errors with cautions of aiming for perfections at each step!
There is really no superiority over any country
It may not always be a straight competition if there is dual beneficiary when teamwork is involved
Added value and respect only comes in when you start thinking for others before your own benefits
Humility is embrace others and learn from others through service
Benefits of keeping a partner outweighs identifying your enemies and clearing the road ahead of you
So, note to self, Please DO NOT place quick judgement over preference rather than on facts!
Re-quote this phrase from a friend today: 如果不懂，何不虛心受教？用謊言來粉飾自己的無知和不安，看了都替您辛苦!
2011年1月10日 星期一
Really?!
Yesterday, from different occasions, three friends came with extremely worry some voices asking:
"How are you actually adjusting to Taipei with your Americanized personality?"
"Have you been trying to date?"
"You are not getting any younger. Look at people around you. I know you want to have children of your own someday. You'd really work on finding yourself another half."
Yes, back in the States most of people around me are a few years older than me and are mostly all married and expecting or already have kids. Yes, it's true that most people I meet here in Taipei are a couple years younger than me.
But, I guess it never registered in my mind that I'm almost over the hill!
Well, not like there is anything I can do to change this situation.
I would love to settle with the right person soon too, but this is really out of my hands, friends.
For one though, I will push myself harder to try new things this year; to go out more, to meet more people from different places, to get out of my nut shell more.
I guess this blooming flower explains the stage friends describe me as 'hitting the hill' with its bloom. But who will be the one person that comes with flowers?
Only in His time~
"How are you actually adjusting to Taipei with your Americanized personality?"
"Have you been trying to date?"
"You are not getting any younger. Look at people around you. I know you want to have children of your own someday. You'd really work on finding yourself another half."
Yes, back in the States most of people around me are a few years older than me and are mostly all married and expecting or already have kids. Yes, it's true that most people I meet here in Taipei are a couple years younger than me.
But, I guess it never registered in my mind that I'm almost over the hill!
Well, not like there is anything I can do to change this situation.
I would love to settle with the right person soon too, but this is really out of my hands, friends.
For one though, I will push myself harder to try new things this year; to go out more, to meet more people from different places, to get out of my nut shell more.
I guess this blooming flower explains the stage friends describe me as 'hitting the hill' with its bloom. But who will be the one person that comes with flowers?
Only in His time~
2011年1月9日 星期日
Glad to have a Friend
Spent a lazy Saturday afternoon with PC bringing her to my hood, a orchid show in 社子花卉公園。
for two persons whom were down recently, enjoying gardening flowers is very relaxing.
I guess that is called 毫無目的的自由享受。
I'm just glad to have a sis around.
I feel lost about what I'm doing or why did I choose to come back.
I don't even know what is it that I wanted to do, but I only know one thing for certain: it's a constant assurance to know I have a friend to lean on no matter what!
Here's my selection of best orchid of the show for a obvious reason:
for two persons whom were down recently, enjoying gardening flowers is very relaxing.
I guess that is called 毫無目的的自由享受。
I'm just glad to have a sis around.
I feel lost about what I'm doing or why did I choose to come back.
I don't even know what is it that I wanted to do, but I only know one thing for certain: it's a constant assurance to know I have a friend to lean on no matter what!
Here's my selection of best orchid of the show for a obvious reason:
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